The Only Reason: A Novel (Trident Trilogy: Book Two) Read online

  Chapter Nine

  Mason

  San Diego, California

  2020

  Chase opens his front door and reads my face and body language instantly—exactly the way we were taught to read the enemy. As a special forces operator, you can’t take much time to guess someone’s intentions—you must evaluate quickly and act immediately. Chase’s eyes tell me if he had a gun handy, he would have already shot me.

  “I think I fucked up,” I say, not breaking my stare with him.

  Chase’s eyes sink into attack mode. “I swear to God, Mason, if you cheated on her, I’m cutting off your dick right here and now.”

  “I didn’t cheat on her,” I say as I drop down on the bench on his porch. “I asked her to marry me.”

  “Oh yeah, well you really have gone too far now,” Chase says, rolling his eyes as he walks out on the porch, letting the door slam behind him.

  “No, man. You don’t know. It really freaked her out. She got all panicky. And I kept going at her. I couldn’t quit. Like I had to prove a point. I think I fucked it up for real this time.”

  “You didn’t fuck anything up,” he says, sighing deeply. “She’s fully in love with you. It’s just, you know, Millie’s not like other girls. She didn’t spend her childhood imagining her perfect wedding. Mack had her playing with guns and night-vision goggles—not wedding dresses and flowers. Maybe marriage isn’t her thing. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be with you.”

  “I know. Everything comes back to her dad. I think she’s turning a corner and learning to live without him, and then something else comes up—like he wasn’t married, so she doesn’t want to be.”

  “Uh, I think you’re reading that wrong. I don’t think it has much to do with Mack not being married. It’s more the bond she had with him. I think it’s impossible for anyone to get to Millie’s inner circle of trust. Believe me, I’ve been trying for years. That place is reserved for Mack only. And when he left her so suddenly, it closed all-together. I don’t think you’re ever going to get there. And if I know anything for sure about Millie, the more pressure you put on her, the more she absolutely shuts down.”

  I lean back and close my eyes. “It’s like I start to make progress, and then I run smack into another wall. It’s so frustrating. I was close to my mom, but not like this. I can’t figure it out.”

  “From the little you’ve told me, I know losing your mom was hard, but you still had your dad and brother. In fact, you still have them to this day. When Mack died, Millie didn’t have anyone. Her grandma died soon after that, and Camille was worthless anyway. Mar and I tried to be there for her, but as I told you, she practically eliminated us from her life. These last few months are the closest I’ve ever felt to Millie. I think you’ve been good for her. Whether you recognize it or not, she’s changing for the better.”

  “You think?”

  “I know. The fact she’s trusting us enough to have her back—even just a little bit—is such a huge step forward for her. You’re doing that. She trusts you.”

  “Yeah, I guess. She’s complicated, man. Not like any woman I’ve ever known before. She makes me crazy.”

  “All the good ones do, brother.” He stands up and heads to the door. “You want a beer?”

  “No. I need to go back over to Millie’s and apologize. I was an asshole. I need to at least try to make it right,” I say as I stand up slowly. “You know she told me she hates when we talk about her.”

  “Yeah, well Millie doesn’t get to control everything. You’re welcome over here any time with or without her.”

  When I get back to Millie’s house, I don’t know if I should use my key or knock. I decide to use the key. All the lights are off in the house, but her car is in the driveway. I peek in the bedroom and see her sleeping under the mass of blankets. I stand there and watch her for a little bit. It makes me think back to the first time we shared a bed after we survived the firefight. I stayed with her all night to make sure her concussion didn’t get worse. I was into her from the first second I saw her, but that was the night I fell in love with her—watching her sleep so innocently, all curled up in a little ball like she is now.

  I crawl under the blankets. She opens her eyes, looking a little bit confused.

  “I’m sorry, Mills. I overreacted. I was an asshole.” I reach out to touch her shoulder. “Is it okay if I stay? I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want me here.”

  She scoots toward me and turns around—spooning her body into me. Just like she did that first night. I wrap my arms around her tightly and kiss the top of her head.

  “So you’re rescinding the proposal,” she says softly.

  “Nothing is rescinded. It’s just put way in the back of the shelves. Behind all the kitchen stuff we never use. Maybe one day we’ll take it out; maybe we won’t. But married or not, I know—with certainty—I never want to let you go.” I squeeze her tighter. “Is that okay?”

  “Yeah,” she says as she turns back around to face me. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Are you going to ask me to marry you?”

  “Stop,” she says, kissing my nose. “No. It’s just . . . are you happy?”

  “Mills. I’m so happy. You know that. Why are you asking?”

  “I know how much you miss leading your team. If you want to go back for a few months to fill in, I’ll come with you.”

  “I’m not going to lie to you. I miss it badly. But that life is no way to live if you want to have a successful relationship—especially if you’re just starting one like we are. You’d rarely see me. You would be alone most of the time. It would be bad for you and for me.”

  She rolls over on her back and looks at the ceiling. “You’re right. I know. But this bubble we’ve been living in is going to pop at some point. I need to get a job. You need to enjoy your job. The real world is going to set in.”

  I put my hand on her stomach and start rubbing the knot I know is forming. “That entire speech is out of Mariel’s mouth. Right?”

  She laughs. “Yeah.”

  “I’ve told you before what works for them isn’t necessarily what’s best for everyone. We can stay in this goddamn bubble forever if it works for us.”

  She turns her head to me and smiles—a little sparkle in her eyes.

  “And you don’t have to decide what you want to do with the rest of your life right now,” I say, stroking her cheek. “You’ve gone through so much. Be patient with yourself.”

  She lets out a long sigh and nuzzles her face into my chest. “It’s been six months. I’ve basically been surfing and sleeping all that time. I have to figure out what I’m going to do at some point. I feel like there’s something coming. The idea keeps dashing through my head, but I can’t understand it yet.”

  “Take a breath. Really, you don’t have to do anything. With the money you made on your grandma’s house sale, you’re financially set. And I have money. If you want to just surf, God knows you’ve earned it. With everything that’s happened, you’ve lived like four lives in only twenty-five years.”

  “Before all this happened—before Dad died—I wanted to major in marine conservation and save the ocean from all the evil polluters in the world,” she says, shaking her head against my chest. “I was more idealistic back then.”

  “Mills, you can still do that. You’re so young. And we live in San Diego—the perfect place for it. I’ve spent a lot of time in oceans. I’ve seen all the crap that ends up there. We need more people like you to do something about it. You’d be great. But you don’t have to worry about that or marriage or babies or any of it. Let’s just enjoy the bubble for as long as we want to.”

  “Can we take naps in the bubble?”

  “As many as we want. Any time we want,” I say as I turn her back around into a spoon. “In fact, let’s start on that right now.”

&nb
sp; Chapter Ten

  Virginia Beach, Virginia

  July 26, 2011

  MILLIE! Are you going to text me that you made it home ok or am I going to have to send out a search party?!!!

  Mack stared at his text. He sent it after calling her twice. Both calls went straight to voicemail. It had been almost two hours since Millie left the base. She showed up unexpectedly this afternoon. At the most, it should take an hour for her to get back home. Mack told her to text when she got there. She hadn’t yet. He started worrying when the clock hit exactly one hour, and now he was in full-blown panic mode.

  After she left, his team had been briefed on a few missions in Iraq. They were wheels up in a few days. He sat in his car wondering how he could follow her route home, check every ditch he was sure she was lying in, and still get back in time to leave for Iraq. His phone finally beeped.

  DAD!! Omg. I’m sorry!! I stopped at Kaylee’s house on the way home. I forgot.

  My bad! Call off the search party. I’m back home. Love you. xxoo

  Mack took a deep breath and laughed. She would be the death of him. He was sure about that. He wondered daily how his child could be so unaffected by things like time. His entire life was based on order, and he was raising a daughter who had absolutely no sense of it. As much as it almost drove him to the edge, it was still his favorite thing about her. She was carefree—the exact opposite of him—and he loved every last bit of it.

  Glad you’re back safely, sweetie. Love you. See you this weekend. xxoo

  Mack’s mind was still full of Millie when he unlocked his apartment door. Normally, he would have noticed the new scratches around the lock. He was trained to notice small details like that. He didn’t notice them though, so he was taken by surprise when he heard a voice coming from his living room.

  “Millie’s life is in danger.” It was a man’s voice with a very heavy Slavic accent.

  Muscle memory took over as Mack fluidly took his pistol out of his waist-band and dropped to a knee behind the protection of the entryway table. There was a little light coming through the blinds, so he could just see the outline of a man sitting on the couch—his arms crossed on his lap with no detectable weapon. Mack had an easy shot at his head. He decided not to take it.

  Mack kept the pistol pointed at the man. “Stand up,” Mack ordered.

  The man stood up and raised his arms above his head.

  When Mack flipped the lights on, he could see the man was about his age. Maybe a little older. He was wearing a crisply pressed shirt and trousers. “Pull up your shirt and turn around slowly,” Mack said as he stood up.

  “I don’t have on an explosive belt,” the man said as he lifted his shirt and carefully turned around.

  “Up against the wall—hands overhead, feet spread.”

  The man did as he was told. Mack searched him for weapons as he kept his gun pressed to the man’s head. When Mack was sure he was clean, he grabbed the man by the back of the collar and forced him to sit at the kitchen table. Mack remained standing—his gun at the ready.

  “Put your hands on the table where I can see them,” Mack said gruffly. “Who are you?”

  “My name is Amar Petrovic. I’m the person who called to tell you about Millie sixteen years ago.”

  Mack’s mind flashed back to receiving that call. A man called to tell him a baby had resulted from an affair Mack had in Bosnia. Mack went to Bosnia, basically kidnapped Millie, and brought her back to the United States. He waited nervously for years for someone to show up and try to take her back. No one ever had. He thought she was safe after sixteen years. Apparently, he was wrong.

  “Why are you here now? And what do you mean Millie’s in danger?” Mack said, glaring at Amar.

  “When Nejra became pregnant, she told everyone—including me—she had been raped and that she didn’t know the identity of her attacker. Everyone except one person—her aunt Azayiz. When Nejra was murdered, Azayiz feared the baby would be killed, too. She gave me your name and number with the instructions to call you and tell you to rescue the baby.”

  “I did that. Millie’s safe. No one has ever tried to locate her.” Mack put his gun back in his waistband.

  “Until now, no one cared. Her uncle Sayid was actually grateful you took her. You know who he is now—a terrorist. But when Millie was born, he was not yet cold-blooded. The elders were pressuring him to kill the baby. He never could have done that to his sister. Nejra was his world.”

  “So what changed his mind? I’m assuming you think he’s coming after her now.”

  “No. Not Sayid. Yusef Hadzic. The three of us were childhood friends. Yusef followed Sayid into the terrorist network. I fled Bosnia for Spain. I’ve done my best over the past fifteen years to eliminate them completely from my life. But last week, Azayiz contacted me. She moved back to her native Pakistan after her husband was killed in the Bosnian War.” Amar paused and took a deep breath. “Since returning, she has been an informant for the CIA. I didn’t know that until last week. She has apparently been informing on Sayid’s network for years. Her son, Fareed, is part of the network. I think he’s been providing her information. Yusef found out about it and has put a bounty on her head. The CIA moved her into protective custody. She told me last week Yusef was trying to draw her out of hiding by targeting the one person in this world she would die protecting—your daughter.”

  Mack sat down at the table. He stared at Amar for a few minutes before responding. “Why would a woman who hasn’t seen Millie in sixteen years care whether she lives or dies?”

  “When Nejra’s parents died at the beginning of the war, Azayiz became like a mother to her. When Nejra was murdered, all the love Azayiz felt for her was transferred to Millie.”

  Mack took a second to process the information. “So what are you telling me? Yusef is coming for Millie? She’s pretty safe here in the States.”

  “I’ve been following Millie for the last two days. She isn’t as safe as you think.”

  Mack shoved the table hard against Amar’s ribs. He leapt up and grabbed Amar’s crumpled body and slammed him against the wall. “What did you say?” Mack said harshly into Amar’s face. “You’ve been following my daughter?”

  “I would never hurt her,” Amar said quickly. “Nejra was my best friend.”

  Mack threw Amar back down in the chair and shoved his finger in his face. “Stay the fuck away from Millie. Do you hear me? I will kill you.”

  “I’m not your problem.” Amar tried to bring his tone back down to a controlled level. “I wanted to see if someone could find her, and I found out they can. As I said, only Azayiz and I know your name. Yusef does not. I’m here to warn you he has started digging. I can’t imagine he will figure out easily who you are. Yusef is not that bright. But if he finds out who you are, he is only one step away from Millie. I don’t care about you, but I will always love Nejra. And I will do anything I can to protect her daughter. I would think her father would be prepared to do the same thing.”

  Mack sat back down. “Where are they? Sayid and Yusef? No one has been able to locate them in almost two decades. Tell me where they are, and we’ll take them out.”

  “I don’t know where they are. I don’t want to know,” Amar said quietly. “I don’t want them to know where I am. If I did know, I would tell you. I have no allegiance to them anymore.”

  “So what are you asking me to do? Go into hiding? I’m guessing you know what I do for a living. I can’t very well do that.”

  “I’m not asking you to do anything. I’m delivering a message from Azayiz. You’re in danger. Millie is in danger. It’s just a matter of time before they find you and then her. I don’t want her to die, but it’s out of my hands now. I’ve done what I promised to do.” Amar put his hands on the table and slowly stood up. “I would like to leave now if you will allow it.”

  Mack nodded toward th
e door. Amar instinctively put his hands in the air as he walked past Mack.

  As he opened the door, Amar said, “She looks like Nejra.”

  “I know.” Mack paused as he tried to clear the lump that was quickly forming in his throat. “Thank you for calling to tell me about Millie. She’s the only reason I have any happiness.”

  Amar turned around and smiled slightly at Mack before he closed the door behind him.

  Chapter Eleven

  Millie

  San Diego, California

  2020

  “Dad? Where are you?”

  We just landed in San Diego a few hours ago, and we’ve already looked at three houses. We’re on our fourth house now—a cute little bungalow near Pacific Beach. We’re moving here soon and Dad told me I get to choose the house. I’m standing in the street, looking at the front. Dad disappeared inside somewhere.

  “Millie. I’m here, sweetie. I’m inside. Come and find me.” It’s his voice, but it sounds really distant. He must be down in the basement. I try to walk to the house, but my feet aren’t moving for some reason. I look down to make sure they’re still attached.

  “Dad, I’ll be there in a second!” I yell, hoping he can hear me above the loud rumbling sound that has just started. I try to move my feet again, with no luck.

  “Millie? Where are you? I’m here!” I can barely hear him now, even though I can tell he’s screaming. The rumbling sound has turned into a roar.

  “I’m coming to find you!” I scream at the top of my lungs. As I try to throw my body forward to get my feet moving, a violent gust of wind blows me backward into the street. I fall down and hit my head hard against the curb. As the darkness starts to surround me, I hear the house blow up. I suddenly see Dad’s body flying toward me. “Millie! Help me! Help me!” he screams as he passes over me.